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^{I like a massage as much as the next person, so when given the chance to try the Zero Gravity Massage Chair from Human Touch (the HT-7450) I thought, why not? I’ve tried a few massage chairs before, mainly in Sharper Image stores, and I nearly bought one once.}

^{My first impression of the chair hit me even before I sat down. And it was negative: “ How Much? $3999! You must be kidding! I could buy a 60 inch Flat screen Plasma TV. I could buy half a small car. I could…..” Well you get the idea.}

^{Still reeling from the price, I threw myself into the chair. OK, comfortable, quite nice looking - and leather. I should say at this point that I do get a human massage from time to time when I can afford it or when I can persuade my wife to give me one. Unfortunately both happen far too infrequently. But I do know something about a good massage.}

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And Konstantin Levin very much out of temper, said Stepan Arkadyevitch, smiling.

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For the sake of this comradeship, she felt tempted to stay.

^{The first thing that I did was put the foot and calf massager up and recline the chair. This felt pretty good. It put me in a horizontal position with my feet above my heart. I was in the Zero Gravity position according to Hans, the salesman showing me around the chair. Apparently, in this special position, the blood goes back to your heart, your pulse slows and the pressure on your spine is relieved. It worked for me.}

^{The controller looked a little complicated, but once I spent a few minutes studying it, it was pretty easy. I went for the relaxing massage program.}

^{And then everything changed.}

At this level, Maserd's political cunning may be sharper than my own rusty skills. I'll go down the primrose lane with that little oily-faced pissant Chadband that far, anyway.

^{I had no idea that massage chairs had progressed so far. I was being given a truly awesome massage, one that did actually feel like human hands. Rolling, Kneading, Percussion and Compression at different times and together. Small air pods were massaging the backs of my legs where the sciatic nerve runs. My calves were being given a great massage, and the lumbar heater was giving my back a warm up treat! Playing with the controller I found I could personalize the intensity of the massage to suit me, and do it “on the fly” . Pretty cool.}

^{OK, this was nice. But come on. $3999? So I started to think about this. I work hard. Massage relaxes me and is probably good for me. It costs $100 minimum to get a professional massage and I can’t even tell you how much my wife costs (and let’s face it trying to get a massage from her is like pulling teeth ). Assuming I get a massage from the chair say, 5 times a week on average and the rest of the family (if I let them) use it another 5 times . That 10 times a week. 500 massages a year. Averaging out the math over 3 years. That’s 1500 massages for less than $3 a massage. Beats $100 a massage or having to plead with my wife.}

^{What do you guys think?}